Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
