sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
