That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
