scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize