i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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