Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
