if i can run in heels then i can drive
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize