i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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