Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
