They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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