ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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