he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
