ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
