am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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