My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
