You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
