it was like his penis was on wheels.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
