Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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