Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
