I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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