You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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