he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
