We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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