thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
