Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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