I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
