Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
