my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
