I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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