it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
