hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
