I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
