um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
