Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
