barbara walters just said penis...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
