it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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