She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
