i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize