Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize