The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize