i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
