do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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