Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
