I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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