There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
