Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You ate ashes out of my bong
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize