i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
the raccoons are back...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
