smell my finger.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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