I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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