lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
