I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
