Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
