these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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