Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
