ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
