Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
