I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This house was built for laser tag.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
