can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
