Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
