i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
