the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
