I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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