i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
