I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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