My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
