This girl is more easily done than said...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I deserve this hangover.
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