Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
