ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize