He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
