Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
